I have mentioned my new man several times in my blogging since I met him and I have only known him a little over a week.
This morning we met for coffee and I saw a side of him that I hadn’t seen before.
We met through a social group and we sat next to each other until another guy bulldozed his way in between us. Then he started talking to some other women and I talked to the bulldozer guy.
I left early and he asked me why. I don’t remember why but I always have a list of a thousand things to do so that was probably why. (ADHD trait)
We exchanged phone numbers and I told him I thought he would be a good fit for my Nerium business.
Our first date was mostly about business but we shared a bit of personal drama also.
The next date was when we really clicked. The conversation was amazing. He actually gets me! Furthermore he likes the way I think! Oh my grapes and vines, I didn’t think anyone would ever get me! lol
Plus he is impressed that I have chosen to be celibate due to my honor of God. He says he is attracted to my heart not my body. (That may be partly due to the fact that I have learned how to not dress like a hooker if I do not want to be treated like one. Just saying…)
This morning I swear someone else was inside of him. (I was seeing horns popping out)
He tried to make me jealous saying that he had found the other two women that he had talked with at the social event very interesting.
They had also expressed interest in him. He is a successful doctor and a very sweet man so I did not find that surprising.
He also indicated that he would be busy on Valentines day with a homeless ministry he was involved in.
Then he kept trying to kiss me. I kept pushing him away.
When I came home I regurgitated the date. I wasn’t angry with him but I contemplated just how I was going to handle this. I wanted to kick him to the curb.
I told God if He wanted me to continue seeing this man He was going to have to handle this.
I thought about it some more and then had an “Aha” moment. I am getting those a lot more since I have been pursuing God like a sex starved nymphomaniac. They are the best.
If he was going to be busy on the 14th of February, I could be too. I sent him the following text.
“The more I think of it the more I am impressed that you are doing the homeless ministry on Valentine’s day. That gives me the freedom to accept one of the many invitations I have already received. You are SOOO CONSIDERATE!”
(DISCLAIMER – I haven’t received any invitations yet but my goodness it is only January 11th- I mean REALLY!)
Two minutes later a text came back “Can you talk?”
I refused saying I was busy and I was busy.
Two minutes after that he texted, “I have not agreed to work on Valentine’s day. I was just invited.”
I may have heard him wrong so I will give him that one.
An hour later I checked my messages and he said he wanted to talk to me about his daughter.
He got me there.
I called him.
The first thing I heard from him was “I’m sorry.”
“What?” I asked in surprise, moving to my bed because I thought I might faint.
He said it again.
This has got to be a freaking record for men! I have only know this man a little over a week and he is humble enough to say he is sorry not once but twice?!!
“Ok,” I thought, “I need to qualify this one.”
“You are sorry for what?”
“For manipulating you. That is what I used to do and I am trying to change that.”
I have one word for this man. “WOW!”
I could not be more impressed with him at this point. He tried to introduce fear into our relationship through the door of jealousy and I called him on it. Instead of running, fighting me or degrading me he took ownership for the wrong that he did and he said he was trying to change his behavior.
This opened up the door to me acknowledging the games I play and the manipulative crap I pull and believe me I have a full house in that department.
His humility just melted me this afternoon. I was a puddle on my bedroom floor and through his humility I became humble also.
Just a thought for those of us who think that fighting or fear is the way to win someone’s heart. I think this man could teach us all a lesson.
The other lesson that could be gleaned from this story is that if you have a problem with another person take it to God first. He is the one who is in the business of transforming hearts and somehow when we try doing that we usually break them.