Girls, when you first start dating a man who has gone through a divorce, I would encourage you to ask them one very important question. “What led to your divorce?”
I have found that nine times out of ten men blame it on the woman.
That is one of my sifters for men. If they can not admit any guilt in a divorce or a broken relationship I think one of many things…
The first is that the poor sucker is in such deep denial that they can’t see straight.
The second is that they may love to play the victim role, which makes me want to projectile vomit.
The third thing I have learned is to take note of what the ex-wife or ex-girlfriend did wrong. I know, without a doubt, that I will be doing the same thing in the relationship with this man.
You see it all goes back to the famous quote. “Men act and women react.” If a man is smart enough, he can shape a woman into being the most beautiful and adoring wife ever; by showering her with compliments, tending to her needs and supporting her in her dreams.
Few men are so smart, yet it is within their grasp.
I remember thinking my last long term boyfriend was just so wonderful when I first met him. When he told me that his last girlfriend yelled at him, I was incensed. How could she yell at this wonderful man? She must have been crazy.
As the relationship matured I realized that he was hypersensitive to tone of voice. I had to make sure that everything I said to him was said in a very sweet loving tone.
It got so bad that during one phone conversation he was screaming the words, “you’re yelling at me!” Problem was, I wasn’t yelling. I had remained calm not raising my voice one decibel. He was the crazy nut who was screaming.
I soon realized that he didn’t have good conflict resolution skills and I may need to work on my tone of voice if we were to stay together.
Girls if you are dating don’t throw the ex-wife or ex-girlfriend under the bus until you have been in the relationship for a few years. Remember that men act and women react and in due time you may become just what his ex was.
In the same manner, be open and honest with your date if he happens to ask, “What led to your divorce?”
If you would like to read a captivating story about a single mother who finds her true love after a divorce, please read The Shattered Vase by Gracie Lynne. You can buy it by clicking on the following link. https://store.bookbaby.com/book/The-Shattered-Vase