I was looking forward to today. I imagined a fun day with my two sons. The morning was fun but the afternoon was spent in silence.
In the morning I took my sons to go see my good friend, David. He testified to my sons about what God had done in his life. I enjoyed the breakfast with him and he gave my sons a lot to think about.
On the way home my oldest son started to argue with me about the legal action I was taking against his father. I told him I didn’t want to discuss the situation.
He kept at me, telling me that if I was successful his father would have to foreclose on his house. His father has more than one house so I am not sure which one he was referring to.
Then a little later in the conversation he had with himself, because I was not responding, he said that I didn’t need my house.
Really? Like he would enjoy having Christmas at the homeless shelter next year?
He went on and on attacking me with words. Asking me to fight back with the same weapon. I chose not to engage. I have done so in the past and I find that I usually defer to profanity when I am frustrated. I am trying to work on that weakness in my life and I knew that I would also raise my voice which I saw as a counterproductive strategy.
Then he asked me if I loved him. I remained silent. I don’t think the question should be if I loved him but if he loved me.
I know this legal battle is difficult for my children to go through but it is something I feel that I must finish.
I don’t know if I will win or not but I have a lot riding on it and this is a fight for justice and a fight against discrimination.
I have been trampled on by the court system, deceived by the legal profession and mistreated and abused by their father. At some point I finally had taken enough and decided to fight back.
I know that my children loved me when I was the victim of this injustice. It remains to be seen if they will love me as a less of a victim and more of a victor.
I don’t know that they are capable of seeing clearly because their father has painted their window in life through the viewpoint of his narcissism and is now playing the role of a possible victim.
Today was a victory for me though in that I chose to hold my tongue. The Bible ways that if you can bridle your tongue you have control over your whole body. I did well in that regard.