I sat on my rocking chair engulfed in emotional pain and sobbing uncontrollably when I realized that absolutely everyone that I loved in this life had betrayed me at one point or another.
I wondered what it was about me that caused someone to want to hurt me in such a vicious way. I thought it was because I had always been a nurturer, an advocate, someone who would take the wounded bird under my wing.
I was a protector. I have always been one.
Why is it that those that I have protected seek to attack me?
My next thought was “I just won’t protect anymore. I will find people who are as strong, as successful and as intelligent as I am and those are the ones I will let into my heart.”
This morning though as I was writing back to one of my dear friends in the blog world I realized one thing. I had it wrong.
I was betrayed not because of who I was. The betrayal was because of where the other person is.
To betray you are unhappy, lost and in a very dark place. People who betray are fearful, full of hate, out for revenge and blinded by their own darkness. It is a very deep and dark and sad hole.
So how does someone like myself who loves to love and shine my light, deal with betrayal?
You don’t own the betrayal.
People betray others for a myriad of reasons. It is mostly their own fear which causes them to betray. It has nothing to do with you.
You continue to shine your light of love. That is the only way to break through the darkness.
This does not mean you become a doormat for the one who betrayed you. That would snuff out your light. What it does mean is you desperately grasp the hand of God.
You ask Him to show you how to shine your love to people. It may not be time for you to shine your light into the darkness of the one who has betrayed you. He will let you know when that time has come.
To love someone to receive love back is a very self serving venture. It is best to love as God loves, unconditionally and without expectation.
Continue to love because the Spirit of God within you loves and as a Christian you are an extension of Him.
Remember betrayal is not about you, it is really about God and how He responded to betrayal.
He gave his only Son to explode the darkness of sin with the power of His love, ensuring that those of us who have betrayed Him could have eternal life in His presence.